Today 1 year ago... out last night together at home

I picked up Matete at the airport around 8:30. When we arrived, Archie and Nen were playing. Nen was happy to see his mama-tete again. He hadn't seen her since October 2005.

That night it was my turn to stay up late (Archie would get up with Nen the next morning) but, since Matete was here, I told Archie to rest: Matete and I would take care of Nen in the morning.

Little did we know about the future that awaited us... that is... no future.

... little did we know that it would never again be Archie's turn to get up with his cute "bonito boy", as he used to call him.

... that we would never again had Nen come to "los padres" in the morning, to lie down in our bed before getting up.

... that we would never again lie on the carpet hugging and kissing, as Nen rushed to lie in the middle of us.

... that we would never again enjoy the beauty of a sunset, the ocean, our walks to the park.

... that we would never again arrive from a vacation being happy to be home again.

... that Archie would never again be able to give Nen a bath.

... that he would never again see me cook, and I would never again see him do dishes.

... that I would never again see him filling the space of this dwelling that we with so much conviction called HOME.

I miss you, dear love of mine. They once asked me what is the one thing that I missed the most. This is what I said:

His smile and his laughter...
his sweet voice and his singing...
his gentleness...
the way he played with our son...
the way he and only he could make him laugh...
his desire to always improve, to be a better person...
his fairness...
his intelligence...
his support...
his calling me "sweetie pooh"...
our walks to the park with our son...
his arriving home after hours without seeing him...
his doing dishes (I hate dishes, I'm the cook)...
and really... his smile.

All that I've missed for a year. How could the world just keep spinning!