Today 4 months ago...

it was a perfect day.

Archie hadn't slept well the previous night so he was very tired and not in the mood of visitors in the morning, but he started feeling better after a nap. His breathing had been improving consistently since the extubation two days before, and the settings on the O2 mask had been lowered, as a consequence. Great news!

In the afternoon he had an OPT (occupational and physical therapy) session and he loved it. He felt he was finally doing something for his recovery, something where he played an active role. He stretched his arms, used resistence against the therapist's strength, and even put his feet down. Second piece of great news!

The feeding tube he had been using had accidentally come out and I was pushing for having him get it back in, since Archie hadn't been fed almost anything for 36 hours. But the doctor wrote an order to have him do a swallowing test instead. We were surprised, because the nurse had said that they usually don't do that so quickly after having somebody extubated. But the dietician came and everything worked perfectly. She was very satisfied with the results and Archie had his first solid food in 10 days. Third piece of great news!

We also received the visit of the social workers, because Archie was doing so well that they wanted to know what kind of help we might need home until he recovered fully. Oh, was it reassuring to hear it from the hospital staff!

And that all couldn't come at a better time: it was our 5th-year dating anniversary. He was still writing notes because the noise of the O2 was very loud and his voice broken, after having been had the breathing tube in for a week. I keep all his cute notes. That evening he wrote that he was overjoyed by all the great news.

Olga finished feeding him the food that he was allowed to have (not so much for the first day!) while I came home to take care of Nen. Then I went back to the hospital and stayed with him until 10:45. Dawn, the best nurse one can wish to have, was with him that night, so I knew he was in the best hands. I didn't want to stay long so that he could rest, because finding a comfortable position was being a challenge for him.

When leaving, Dawn called me to her computer and said "look, in the last blood sample even the carbonates, that were always a bit off, look normal, he is doing just great". Archie's O2 mask settings were now at only 60%. When they reached 35%, he could be switched to the canula, which meant, he could see his beloved son.

Driving back home, I was granted a full moon for our anniversary, what a treat! I was the overjoyed one. Little did I know of what was going to happen in a few hours while Dawn was in her break...

For a long time, I didn't understand what happened, what changed, why he was doing great on Saturday and horrible on Sunday. Now I know what changed the course of things for ever, and it's really tragic. It should never have happened.

Yes, today 4 months ago it was the happiest day of Archie's hospital stay, a day where all would have sworn that Archie would be home very soon, and so would I. But now... there is an empty room in this home, where Nen's and my heart are broken because what should never have happened... happened.