Feliz Aniversario, Amor...

Hi Amor,

Today nobody remembered, but it was our anniversary and, if you are listening, I'll say it to you: Happy Anniversary!!

For the public, I must explain that Archie and I celebrated every 10th, 12th, and 28th of the month, as well as the pre-, and post- anniversaries, that is: 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 27, 28, and 29ths of the month were special days for us. As I said today to my widow friends, if there is one day in the entire calendar I'm afraid/sad/horrified of going through without Archie it's 12/28, the day of our wedding anniversary. For our wedding we were given a $100 gift certificate for the Watercourse in Palo Alto, that we never used because we never made up our mind about which of their services to choose. Last wedding anniversary we were really close to going (I even arranged with a friend so that he could be with Nen) but then got tied up with something and postponed it again until... it never happened.

Well, I did it!! I booked a hot stone massage for that day, and I made sure I mentioned the importance of getting a good one and the high likelihood of it being a "hot stone and bitter-tear massage". So, Amor, if you exist, please come and be with me while I get the massage.

Right now I'm still searching in the world of spirituality: Is there a God? Is there an afterlife? For 3-4 weeks I went through a complete "this is it, no more" phase, and then a week ago I started reading some of the "there is more" authors to compensate. The good thing about my "non-believing phase" is that I wasn't scared at night, and now I am again. Anyway... hopefully, my quest will be answered one of these days.

Once again, all I wanted to say is "Amor: ¡Feliz Aniversario! I'm so glad I had you in my life. It would have been wonderful to celebrate, as we wanted, the renewal of vows for our 5th wedding anniversary. It couldn't be, but I keep hoping you come to me and let me know we'll see each other again".